From Headline to Healing

The media perception of me almost a century ago was just about spot on and many of the things told about me on that news outlet were true for that one bad decision I made and many of the allegations were and still are an anchor that holds me from reaching my full potential, but with TRIP and its opportunities I can now shift how people perceive me. So, without no manipulation or demanding I would share my transformation.

My Past Is the Key to My Future

My past is a story I give cause it's the key to my future; I had grown up in an abuse house no one talked about how to love instead it was insults fueled with alcohol and drug abuse coming from a single parent home. There were no male role models, I seen a lot of misuse of women at times. I didn't know if it was okay to reenact or be mad so that left me vulnerable to the outside pressure. Being impulsive I became the villain; my feelings I had for myself, and others no longer mattered and I became someone I didn't like.

And then at 16 I had a child who looked at me for care, food, safety, the same love I didn't know, but when I seen his face and I knew that cry; I had found a new respect for life that I valued more than my own. The emotions that came with being a father, a son that had to understand the 18-year-old who had to raise 3 kids and the pressure she had; a father who used drugs every day of his adult life that it wasn't his intention to leave his family and run the streets.

Broken Open in Cook County

Then I found myself in Cook County jail and I seen my son at his young age asking me what happened, come home, two things I could not do. My spirit broke just as Allah had wanted. See I believe things happen the way Allah had wrote it from the beginning because my drive of never ending wanting to, learning, growing and changing and it started with my son. So, seeing him on the first visit made me want to change that much more. I had to let go old habits. My strategy first was mental; I had to grow and let my past experience stay in the past. Spiritually I had let Allah take over my speech, mind, heart. No more financial pressure; the lead cause of my past hiccups. Through daily work and balance I had to rewire how I used my brain instead of taking from people I now give.

Rebuilding From the Inside

With knowledge that I have gained with the course work on Edovo, BHT IDOC give, self-reflection has helped me become better with myself staying true with me and to family, friends, is and will always be a big, important part of my new story. To be honest with myself and others was something I had to learn to do and now is a strong value I use, being able to do this in a place that is full of bad decisions all around me, but with this I had to work on my emotions and how to regulate them. The stress of prison and its forces, I had to make boundaries with people and protect my space in order to grow.

More Chapters to Come

So, I will not stop here with my growth. That will continue no matter. I want whoever reads my story to understand that I have found my inspiration that I live for and I pray that you find your focus.